Tag: Job Centre

My trip to the Job Centre- Update on what’s been happening

My trip to the Job Centre- Update on what’s been happening

So yesterday, I went to my local jobcentre, a place I loathe more than life itself. I have never loathed anywhere more, school was bad, really bad. However I would rather go school than go to the job centre with the disgusting judgemental looks they stow upon you as talk to them.

We spoke to a front desk lady, who really looked bored out of her brain. Especially when the job centre doesn’t seem to be as busy as it used to be, with large crowds gathering in corners, waiting for their name to be called by an uninterested advisor. It was quiet, rather like everyone was afraid to speak, the loom of the great Iain Duncan sucking David Cameron’s dick there like an invisible force to be reckoned with.

We asked about the WCA appointment we were asking for, as it has been a month since we called them for a reassessment. As always she said there were no advisors available, which I take as, sorry but we really don’t care about your problems here.

She took my name, mobile, and National Insurance number, again in an uninterested way, and told us we would be receiving a call either later today or tomorrow. (Last Monday and Tuesday.)

We went home thinking nothing of it, I wanted to go back to writing some stuff for this blog, even though all my energy and no enthusiasm to write. My brain was saying write, write write, and my body was going NO! That’s one of the reasons why I have been pressing things from other sources, I just haven’t been in the mood or mindset to write.

The suicidal thoughts have been more dangerous lately, and the only way to curb them is to sleep, otherwise my brain is consumed by them creeping ever so closely to front of my brain. I’ve also had the dreaded cannot sleep at night, which causes my paranoia, in turn making me think it’s the end of the world, and I am evil and the spawn of the devil.

Getting back though to the story at hand, I sat looking at the computer screen, the WordPress new draft screen an empty canvas of thoughts and dreams, the blinking cursor magically disappearing and reappearing like an indicator on a car. And I couldn’t write anything at all, so I listed to some Let’s Plays by AgentJR on YouTube.

The phone rang with an unrecognizable number, so I picked up. We get a lot of those kinds of calls, especially from telesales and other places, trying to con you into buying something, or giving away your money to a pyramid scheme. Because of that, we usually leave the phone to go to voicemail, and nobody leaves a message. However because this was very important, and my mum was so insistent I picked up, it was an advisor from the JCP.

She was really nice actually, not what I expected, since all I know is the advisers from Maximus, who know fuck all about anything. She told me to get my doctor to write a letter to say how bad I have gotten since joining Maximus, and for me to write something to them too. She even gave me her number, and said I could ring her anytime. And if I came to the job centre, she would fax it over for us. Brilliant I thought, until I remembered that my doctor is hard to get to see, since she is so popular with all the patients.


 

Then that afternoon, as I was continuing to stare at the computer and fall asleep, there was a knock from the postman who gave me a large package from the DWP, my notes had arrived. I haven’t read them properly yet, but from what I have read, I was put into the WRAG Group in 2013, which is around the time when ATOS were being complete and utter wankers. It was the time when they were putting suicidal people through to WRAG Group. So I am going to be asking questions about that, because I wasn’t ready, and the people I have met in WRAG have all told me, I shouldn’t be there.

So now I need to read the box full of information from the DWP, which I am going to scan onto the computer to keep as evidence and to share with you guys. It might take me a while to do, but I will try and get as much done as possible, so you can see what they have said as to my assessment.


Later on that day, I received an email from Mind charity Legal team. They were sorry for the lateness of their reply, and wanted to know if I still needed help from them or not. I replied back with a very long and depressing tale of how things have been going since my first email, as in getting worse.

They replied back the very next day, with lots of information and help. Though I have not replied to them back as of yet, because of feeling really disgusting and horrible, nor emailed or called anyone. But I plan to Monday, mum will be home, and she said she would sit with me during these calls, except when I call or email the Samaritans, because there is too much I want to say that she doesn’t know about.

I’ll try and either capture the email, or copy and paste onto a new document. It might help you guys, and I always want to help people in a similar situation. So I decided to make another WordPress Blog, because I wanted to make a hub where people could get information on mental health, with all Trusts around the country, websites, forums, charities, and such. As well as laws, and people to contribute stories, and experiences.

I’m taking slowly because I don’t want to wear myself out too soon, plus I have some looking and experimenting to do with WordPress. But I’m hoping it will be a place where people feel safe, and where they don’t feel alone, as well as a hub of information to help.


 

I would also like to say Hello to my new followers and welcome. As well as to say Thank you to my long running followers for their patience and kindness.

You’re all awesome!

My worries about project nudge.

I’m frightened, really frightened of this new nudge thing the government are using to experiment on the sick and disabled back to work.

My doctor is fabulous when it comes to my depression or anything I may have, she’s been with me every step of the way concerning getting my physical breakdown diagnosed. She’s been trying to get me higher on the therapy list, and finding alternatives.

I haven’t seen her in a while, and I do need to make an appointment because I think I need stronger antidepressants and to be referred to the assessment team.

But what I have heard about Nudge, it sounds like they are getting doctors involved to find you fit for work, as well as invading in on privacy.

Already feeling pressured to go back to work, and this news makes me frightened and absolutely petrified that they are going to put me in any old job and expect me to work.

I’m afraid of having another breakdown, and then being told I still need to go to work.

A lot of stuff is going around and around in my head, and I’m exhausted from it. I don’t want feel this way, but for me this is a normal part of my life worrying about things.

Not that I don’t want to go back to work, I just want to do it when I am ready. And find a job that is going to be supportive with my needs, and I don’t think the government want that to happen.

They are just going to make us do workfare, this is all just to make us slaves instead of depending on them.

And what about if I need a day off because I am in a bad way depression wise, are they going to make work through that or make me lose my job and be forced into JSA or some kind of reprogramming programme.

It sounds like they are not giving us all the details, and there are more sinister things ahead. As if they have plans for horrible things to happen if you don’t comply, and I’m guessing these involve no money, starving to death, prison, concentration camps.

I’m still suicidal and I want to get out of here, but at the same time I know this is what they want from me.

There is the fact that I to fight them, only I am so exhausted, and as u have said before I am loosing a little bit of fight everyday.

I don’t know what I can do to help stop this, I want to though.

DO not attend

So today was my first weekly appointment with gold teeth, Shabba, Mr. Loverman.

However yesterday I received a text message reminder saying DO not attend.

Which now has me wondering if he is leaving Maximus too, since it seems they have a lot under their belt.

So I’m quite paranoid today, and worried.

The thought of having any of the other advisors, or even having to go to the job centre fills me with dread.

I hate the job centre, the people working there push you in jobs you don’t want to do. Now they have reason to do this, because of the msn Iain Duncan Smith.

Who I do put some of the blame on my deteriorating mental health.

Back to the Loverman, Shaggy wannabe I don’t know if he is unwell, going for a interview, or having to speak to employers about getting customers jobs.

Mum is working tomorrow because she was going to be coming with me, we were even going to go over my barriers before we went.

Now I have the worry and wait for my next appointment, and whether this is going to be sprung on me the day before.

So my sleep pattern is going to get worse, and soon I will be a walking zombie.

In other news though, I found the IAPT number, and I’m hoping mum can get me an appointment or something.

I should be filling in my SARs form today to post, and if I feel up to it email and comment on my lovely followers.

Sasson and Sill Oaks, I promise to email you back.

Purple, thank you for your comments, and I am so sorry for not replying.

You are all awesome for putting up with me.