So today was another visit to see my Maximus advisor, this time without mum’s protection. Mum hasn’t been feeling too good, and has had tooth ache all week so got an emergency appointment. That appointment being the same time as mine, so I went in 30 minutes early.
I was greeted at the reception by the woman with no heart or soul, who asked about my my mum. Why? I have no idea, but don’t think this is the end.
I waited for Mr Loveman, who was surprising not with a customer or doing anything constructive. A man that claims he has back to back customers, and here he is just sitting around talking to the ladies.
While waiting there was only me and this other customer waiting to be seen by another advisor, he was stuck to his phone staring at it while his fingers furiously tapped away.
There I was sitting there looking at my phone wondering whether it was safe enough to take pictures of the place to show you guys, along with the propaganda hung around like reminders that you will be finding a job, even if it is not the right one for you.
The heartless and soulless kept shouting across the room to remind the Loverman exactly what he was meant to do, and that is to see customers. However being the suave guy he is (not), he kept talking to the ladies.
By 1:50pm – when the ladies had to go, and had collected at least 30 papers from him, he called me over. When I say called, it was more of ‘oh god it’s her again’, at least it felt like that.
We ran through the same things, he tapped the keys on the computer very slowly. He wrote how I was sending CV’s for retail shops, and handing CV’s out to local shops. (I didn’t even know I was doing that, do I have a clone or something?)
He asked how my mum was doing? Not me, but my mum.
He booked me in for next week, Friday this time, because he is so full up.
As he was about to get rid of me, and sigh after dealing with one of his most difficult customers because I have so many barriers.
I asked him what that survey I had over the phone was about?
He in Mr Loverman smooth stylie, or what would be normally called trying to hard to remain normal. He told me that Maximus head office ask every PG6 Customer to do one.
Now when he said that my first thought was ‘More likely Iain Duncan Smith wants them to do it, to prove that they need work to get better’.
As I said yesterday, it is the same test as the NHS Choices Wellbeing questions, and I scored very low. I was also told on the site that I need to eat more healthier and exercise.
So I think Iain Duncan Smith as thick as two planks he is, thinks he can use this to determined whether people need work to keep their wellbeing.
After the Maximus propaganda and him smiling his gold teeth at me, trying to be nice. He didn’t really understand the test, just what Maximus is feeding him. I decided to tell him that it was the same test on NHS Choices for Wellbeing.
Being the thick dope he is, he laughed and said, ‘Oh, Maximus must have stolen it from there’. I just smiled politely.
Then he went on about me doing voluntary work, how only doing 1 day a week, or 2 half days would be the thing I need to get me back into work. Now I know that they use voluntary work as a way to say you are fit for work, so him saying that didn’t surprise me. But he wants me to be ready soon.
Got out 1hr and a half later, after waiting for mum and dad. Which did not go too well, but she did get her tooth taken out.
Mum said next week, she is coming with me. We are going to print my barriers out, fill in forms, and phone for an assessment and for an appointment with my doctor. This week has been rather mad, with my mum unwell with a cold and her tooth playing up. She wants to ask what work he has, that will take someone like me on?
But I am worried, for all the fun I am taking out of Mr Loverman, I am frightened of being sanctioned. I am worried about being pushed too far, and having to get a job, and then ending up having another nervous breakdown.
If I have another one, who knows whether I would be able to claim again, or if they would find me fit for work.
I do have my supplies ready though they are ready for when the time comes. I’m ready for when the shit hits the fan, and I am deemed fit for work as a slave.
But the time isn’t yet, I don’t know when but dear readers I will miss you all when the time comes.