I decided to go back in my journals to a couple of months before I turned 50. This is a good starting place for me. As I blog, I may end up going even further back as I try to pinpoint where all my “issues” started.
I am leaving out some parts of my journal entries because they are just too personal.
Journal entry: Sunday – November 2, 2014
I am at my friend, Amy’s house in Forsyth, GA. I came here yesterday for a girl’s weekend. I thought there would be 6 friends, but only ended up being 4. We had fun, but it was too windy to build a fire in the fire pit, like we wanted to do. The wind made it frigid outside!
I have eaten way more than I should have! And I’ve got to get back to a strict eating and exercise plan!
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This is my art from the day centre I go to, which was recommended to me by my art therapist. I’ve been for 2 weeks so far, but I have thoroughly enjoyed myself there so far.
Here I have been trying to design a logo for my Mental Health Resource Hub, as well as drawing flowers for the Arts Trail that is going to be happening soon, and the centre is drawing objects and subjects to do with STEM. So I decided to try and draw some flowers, not sure if they look good, but I loved drawing them at least.
Yvette Cooper has not said she is planning a bid for the Labour leadership in the event Labour loses the 8 June General Election.
But then, if she were – and wanted others to know it – she wouldn’t say it either. She’d have others say it for her. That’s how the old style of politics works. Whether she’s behind it or not, a lot of people are suddenly talking about her putative bid. Here are just a few:
The media consensus appears to be that Ms Cooper’s grandstanding during Wednesday’s PMQs (Prime Minister’s Questions) was posturing for a leadership challenge. Judging by the response of a host of right-wing MPs – including some who are known to have been working to promote Gerard Coyne’s failed attempt to topple Len McCluskey – it either was or they wanted to make it one.
Harriet Harman, Mike Gapes, Ben Bradshaw…
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In breaking news, Len McCluskey has won by a solid margin in the contest for the Unite General Secretaryship, with a winning margin of 5% in spite of a creditable 13% achieved by the other left-wing candidate Ian Allinson, which would certainly have gone to McCluskey in Allinson’s absence.
Challenger Coyne did better than many had expected, with 41% to McCluskey’s 46%, but with his campaign tainted by admissions of the use of Labour member data whose subjects had not given their permission for its release to the right-wing challenger.
This puts to shame the right-wing conspiracy theorists who were, earlier today, comparing Coyne’s suspension by the union as ‘like North Korea’ and claiming not to know why he was suspended, even though the news of his admitted data breaches had been widely circulated since they were broken by this blog and Evolve Politics – leading to that infamous admission…
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Lorenzo ha estado actuando muy raro últimamente desde el viernes, su mama llego el Lunes de Costa Rica por lo que le estoy dando su espacio, desde entonces hemos peleado varias veces y por estupideces más que todos, ayer estábamos hablando sobre los transgeneros ya que yo vi un vídeo de cambio de sexo en lo que el me dice que una mujer transgenero nunca podrá ser una mujer porque genéticamente es hombre y etc. Yo le decía que para mi si un hombre se identifica como mujer es una mujer así fenotípicamente sea un hombre o haya nacido hombre por lo que empezamos a debatir, en una yo le hago una comparación respecto a su argumento de que una mujer es aquella que nace o nació con útero ovario y vagina, lo cual me parece un pensamiento muy cerrado, él dice que mi argumento es tonto y me compara…
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Un amigo de nuestro grupo (mi gemelo) nos confesó a Paula y a mí que cree es bisexual ya que siente algo hacia los hombres, nosotros tuvimos una reacción buena, él ahora quiere intentar con un hombre y hay días en los que se pone desesperado, el otro día casi que me quita a uno de mis crushes. A mí siempre me gusto un chico de mi clase de inglés llamado Manuel, el otro día creo un grupo con mi amigo y el y empezamos a hablar, mi amigo lo molestaba diciendo que le gusta un chico de la sección 16 y después nos confesó que tiene un novio de 1 años y 7 mes
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So, had a few days of creativity and fun. Spent money I shouldn’t have. Luckily, I didn’t break the bank this time, and I only bought small gifts for my family. Still, that money should’ve been allocated elsewhere. Last night, I finally fell asleep. Hard. Like bottle of water still in my hand kind of hard. Slept for hours, probably 12 or so. I’m incredibly depressed and sick. I have an autoimmune disorder anyway, so anytime my system is attacked by mania or depression, I also must deal with physical illness and inflammation in chronic pain areas, such as my ankle.
I knew this was coming, during the hypomania and feelings of elation, I mean. Once it hits me, many times I have thought to myself that I forgot how bad this can, and will most assuredly, be.
I’m going to add photos of myself. I think its important to…
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Pics at 5:16 a.m. Part of the crash. Still taste that hot bile from that adrenaline that pumped for those few days. I’m tired. Physically tired. Mind is racing, though… won’t switch off. All of this, and even as I’m tired, I am not sleepy.
Hope the Sandman visits soon. Maybe I pissed him off when I was a kid??